1
00:00:07,061 --> 00:00:10,581
--

2
00:00:10,701 --> 00:00:13,461


3
00:00:13,621 --> 00:00:16,621


4
00:00:16,901 --> 00:00:19,701


5
00:00:19,741 --> 00:00:21,741


6
00:00:22,621 --> 00:00:25,021


7
00:00:25,181 --> 00:00:30,061

Getting nowhere with you

8
00:00:31,061 --> 00:00:33,221
-- CHILDREN SCREAM EXCITEDLY

9
00:00:36,261 --> 00:00:38,261
OK, who wants a drink ?

10
00:00:38,741 --> 00:00:41,181
One for you. There you go.

11
00:00:43,661 --> 00:00:47,461
Here's one for you.
Look, Mummy's got one.

12
00:00:52,821 --> 00:00:54,821
Mmm.

13
00:01:06,341 --> 00:01:12,421
-- Doctor, Mrs Matthews would like
a word. She's just out of recovery.

14
00:01:09,821 --> 00:01:12,421
-- Oh, if I have to.

15
00:01:13,381 --> 00:01:20,341
Mrs Matthews, you wanted to see me ?

16
00:01:15,421 --> 00:01:20,341
-- I came in to have a little fat
removed from my eyelid area.

17
00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:23,981
-- Yes ?

18
00:01:21,981 --> 00:01:23,981
-- Well, I...

19
00:01:24,301 --> 00:01:28,821
It seems that rather than
removing fat from my eyelid,...

20
00:01:28,861 --> 00:01:34,941
..you cut off an arm and replaced it
with a slightly rusty metal spike.

21
00:01:35,301 --> 00:01:42,021
-- Did you not want the metal spike ?

22
00:01:37,701 --> 00:01:42,021
-- No, I wanted a little fat
removed from my eyelid.

23
00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:45,541
-- And not the metal spike thing ?

24
00:01:43,741 --> 00:01:45,541
-- No.

25
00:01:45,581 --> 00:01:51,461
-- Maybe it was already like that.

26
00:01:46,741 --> 00:01:51,461
-- No, it wasn't.

27
00:01:47,301 --> 00:01:51,461
-- Maybe we can clear this up
by checking the notes.

28
00:01:51,501 --> 00:01:56,221
Mrs Matthews, blah-blah-blah,
metal spike instead of arm.

29
00:01:56,261 --> 00:02:01,741
There we are, problem solved.

30
00:01:57,861 --> 00:02:01,741
-- You just wrote that.

31
00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:01,741
-- Oh, what do you want ? Blood ?

32
00:02:01,781 --> 00:02:07,501
-- I just want my arm back.

33
00:02:03,021 --> 00:02:07,501
-- Listen, that is a major breakthrough
in medical science.

34
00:02:07,541 --> 00:02:14,141
-- I just don't want it.

35
00:02:08,981 --> 00:02:14,141
-- I'm pushing back boundaries. Can't
you open your fat eyes and see that ?

36
00:02:12,141 --> 00:02:14,141
-- I just wanted...

37
00:02:14,181 --> 00:02:18,461
-- It's me, me, me with
you lardy-eyed whingeing patients.

38
00:02:18,501 --> 00:02:21,501
-- I didn't expect...

39
00:02:19,501 --> 00:02:21,501
-- Look, I'm very tired !

40
00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:27,981
Do you think that mouse expected
an ear grown onto its back ?

41
00:02:28,021 --> 00:02:36,341
Everybody thought that was great.

42
00:02:30,221 --> 00:02:36,341
-- Well ?

43
00:02:30,701 --> 00:02:36,341
-- Maybe in future textbooks, your
picture will be next to the mouse.

44
00:02:36,901 --> 00:02:38,901
(SQUEAKS)

45
00:02:43,261 --> 00:02:48,701
So, you'd better get your big,
chubby old eyes done before then.

46
00:02:50,101 --> 00:02:52,861
Right, what have you got today ?

47
00:02:58,781 --> 00:03:00,781
-- I've been shopping !

48
00:03:10,861 --> 00:03:12,861
-- andlt Atalanta !

49
00:03:13,301 --> 00:03:16,781
-- Claire.

50
00:03:13,741 --> 00:03:16,781
-- Oh, Claire, hello. Enjoy the book ?

51
00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:20,861
-- Very much. It's a much more mature
writing style...

52
00:03:18,861 --> 00:03:20,861
-- Oh, good, good, good.

53
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:27,301
-- Sorry, I've left lipstick on you.

54
00:03:22,821 --> 00:03:27,301
-- Did you like the warehouse scene ?

55
00:03:24,221 --> 00:03:27,301
-- Oh, yes. You're spreading it around.

56
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:32,741
-- Oh, am I ?

57
00:03:28,981 --> 00:03:32,741
-- To the left. Sorry, your left.

58
00:03:30,741 --> 00:03:32,741
-- Oh, right. All gone ?

59
00:03:33,141 --> 00:03:37,301
-- Pretty much. I can see it,
but I know it's there.

60
00:03:37,541 --> 00:03:41,381
I wish you every success.

61
00:03:38,501 --> 00:03:41,381
-- Diamond ! Diamond, darling.

62
00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:46,181
-- How are you ?

63
00:03:43,261 --> 00:03:46,181
-- Enjoy it ?

64
00:03:43,661 --> 00:03:46,181
-- Oh, congrats ! Fantastic !

65
00:03:46,221 --> 00:03:52,981
Particularly the warehouse scene.

66
00:03:47,181 --> 00:03:52,981
-- Good ! Is your scrummy toy boy here ?

67
00:03:49,221 --> 00:03:52,981
-- Yes, looking particularly scrummy.

68
00:03:54,221 --> 00:04:00,581
-- Absolutely lovely.
You'll have to get him over.

69
00:03:57,741 --> 00:04:00,581
-- Mm. And he's mine.

70
00:04:00,621 --> 00:04:05,381
Um, Benj ? Benji ?
Come and meet Milo. Milo, Benji.

71
00:04:05,421 --> 00:04:09,581
-- Milo.

72
00:04:06,061 --> 00:04:09,581
-- I've heard so much about you.
Enjoy the book ?

73
00:04:09,621 --> 00:04:15,421
-- Triumph, particularly the warehouse
scene. Oh, Pfifi ! Do excuse me.

74
00:04:15,501 --> 00:04:17,501
How well you look !

75
00:04:17,541 --> 00:04:19,541
-- I am.

76
00:04:19,941 --> 00:04:22,541
-- Hi, Benji, how are you doing ?

77
00:04:26,301 --> 00:04:29,901
-- Guess who !

78
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,901
-- I know who that is ! Fi !

79
00:04:29,941 --> 00:04:32,021
Hello, how are you ?

80
00:04:32,501 --> 00:04:40,061
-- Marvellous. Oh, you've got...

81
00:04:34,661 --> 00:04:40,061
-- Better-looking ? I've been going
to the gym, doing the pecs and tum.

82
00:04:40,101 --> 00:04:42,541
-- No, lipstick. You've sort of...

83
00:04:42,581 --> 00:04:45,621
-- I have got a lot on me, haven't I ?

84
00:04:45,941 --> 00:04:48,861
Anyway, how was skiing last year ?

85
00:04:55,901 --> 00:05:00,261
-- Excuse me.

86
00:04:57,061 --> 00:05:00,261
-- Oh, er, quiche. Yeah, thanks.

87
00:05:02,861 --> 00:05:04,941
-- Oh, Nina, hi.

88
00:05:04,981 --> 00:05:06,981
-- Hi. Claire.

89
00:05:08,621 --> 00:05:12,181
I'm sorry, I've got some quiche
on your face.

90
00:05:10,181 --> 00:05:12,181
-- Milo !

91
00:05:12,781 --> 00:05:14,781
-- andlt Bit of quiche, love.

92
00:05:18,541 --> 00:05:20,541
-- CLOCK TICKS

93
00:05:35,941 --> 00:05:38,541
BANGS DRUM AND PLAYS HARMONICA

94
00:05:40,821 --> 00:05:42,821
DUCK CALL

95
00:05:50,581 --> 00:05:52,581
STOPS PLAYING

96
00:06:02,221 --> 00:06:05,941
-- Been busy ?

97
00:06:03,221 --> 00:06:05,941
-- KNOCKING ON WINDOW

98
00:06:03,941 --> 00:06:05,941
-- Not too bad, really. andgt

99
00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:19,461
-- (MOUTHS)

100
00:06:20,941 --> 00:06:26,301
-- Anyone you know ? andgt

101
00:06:22,461 --> 00:06:26,301
-- No, I've never seen her before.

102
00:06:23,301 --> 00:06:26,301
-- KNOCKING

103
00:06:28,061 --> 00:06:30,061
-- Help ! Save me !

104
00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:07,901
-- Any messages for me, Jan ?

105
00:07:03,221 --> 00:07:07,901
-- Yeah.

106
00:07:04,781 --> 00:07:07,901
-- I'm going to lunch. See you at 3.30.

107
00:07:15,581 --> 00:07:17,581
-- Ooh !

108
00:07:26,541 --> 00:07:28,541
-- Oh !

109
00:07:33,421 --> 00:07:35,421
(TUTS)

110
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:58,221
-- (GIGGLES) I'm hiding in your fridge.
Say cheese.

111
00:07:58,501 --> 00:08:01,021
-- (SIGHS) Oh, no.

112
00:08:02,341 --> 00:08:05,301
-- KNOCKING

113
00:08:03,301 --> 00:08:05,301
-- Let me out !

114
00:08:06,221 --> 00:08:08,021
Shit.

115
00:08:08,061 --> 00:08:13,941
You've no sense of humour.
No sense of humour !

116
00:08:11,941 --> 00:08:13,941
-- KNOCKING

117
00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:19,061
GIGGLING

118
00:08:25,781 --> 00:08:29,421
'Don't have a clue
what they're for, but...

119
00:08:35,541 --> 00:08:40,621
-- You knew the selectors were in.
I can't believe you've done this.

120
00:08:40,661 --> 00:08:45,341
You've shamed the Harrogate
Harriers, you've shamed me.

121
00:08:45,381 --> 00:08:49,021
Today of all days,
when I've got bad throat.

122
00:08:49,061 --> 00:08:55,181
-- I just wanted to win.

123
00:08:50,141 --> 00:08:55,181
-- There were no need - it's
your best event, the 100 metres.

124
00:08:55,221 --> 00:08:57,421
-- Well... Well, never mind.

125
00:08:57,461 --> 00:09:01,901
-- Why couldn't you do it normally,
like in training ?

126
00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:07,861
-- I thought if I had an engine,
I'd run faster.

127
00:09:04,301 --> 00:09:07,861
-- Your feet didn't touch the ground.

128
00:09:08,421 --> 00:09:15,781
-- The crowd liked it.

129
00:09:09,701 --> 00:09:15,781
-- You didn't even finish, you hovered
above the blocks for 22 minutes 18.

130
00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:22,621
A pissed wombat can run 100 metres
faster than that.

131
00:09:20,621 --> 00:09:22,621
-- Me engine slipped !

132
00:09:22,661 --> 00:09:26,061
-- Yes, so you went up
rather than along.

133
00:09:26,101 --> 00:09:28,101
You looked stupid.

134
00:09:29,341 --> 00:09:32,981
All that smoke coming out
your track pants.

135
00:09:33,021 --> 00:09:35,461
Looked like She-Ra or something.

136
00:09:35,501 --> 00:09:41,741
-- I didn't know it would set fire to me
bib. I only did it to cheer you up.

137
00:09:42,101 --> 00:09:44,101
-- Janine,...

138
00:09:45,061 --> 00:09:47,061
..it was cheating.

139
00:09:49,541 --> 00:09:51,541
OK. All right.

140
00:09:52,061 --> 00:09:54,061
Start again. OK.

141
00:09:54,421 --> 00:09:58,421
Right. So we're gonna do
the next six events...

142
00:09:58,861 --> 00:10:01,701
..without the engine, all right ?

143
00:10:02,261 --> 00:10:06,101
I don't want to see whizzing arms
for the javelin.

144
00:10:06,541 --> 00:10:08,541
-- ENGINE STARTS

145
00:10:12,341 --> 00:10:14,941
RHYTHMIC CLANKING AND CLAPPING

146
00:12:14,181 --> 00:12:19,821
-- I love art.

147
00:12:15,821 --> 00:12:19,821
-- It sounds fantastic.
What was it called again ?

148
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:25,981
-- I can't remember. Oh,
Nobody Helps Anybody. It was great.

149
00:12:27,661 --> 00:12:29,661
-- LIFT BELL

150
00:12:40,461 --> 00:12:43,821
-- Are you all right ?

151
00:12:41,821 --> 00:12:43,821
-- Yeah, I'm fine.

152
00:12:43,861 --> 00:12:46,101
-- You're not, are ya ?

153
00:12:46,421 --> 00:12:49,101
-- No.

154
00:12:47,101 --> 00:12:49,101
-- andlt What's the matter ?

155
00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:55,061
-- I'm so depressed.

156
00:12:50,781 --> 00:12:55,061
-- What ?

157
00:12:51,941 --> 00:12:55,061
-- DEPRESSED !

158
00:12:52,861 --> 00:12:55,061
-- Depressed ? Oh.

159
00:12:55,101 --> 00:12:59,501
-- CAR HORNS

160
00:12:56,461 --> 00:12:59,501
-- You should see someone about that.

161
00:12:59,701 --> 00:13:03,461
-- I did.

162
00:13:00,181 --> 00:13:03,461
-- Did he give you anything ?

163
00:13:01,461 --> 00:13:03,461
-- Yeah. Prozac.

164
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:09,501
-- Oh, what's that like ?

165
00:13:05,741 --> 00:13:09,501
-- HORNS

166
00:13:07,381 --> 00:13:09,501
It's rubbish, innit ? andgt

167
00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:15,261
I feel really dizzy all the time.

168
00:13:11,581 --> 00:13:15,261
-- You've been round
a mini roundabout six times.

169
00:13:15,301 --> 00:13:19,221
-- Have I ?

170
00:13:15,941 --> 00:13:19,221
-- Yeah.

171
00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:19,221
-- Are we gonna be here all day ?

172
00:13:19,261 --> 00:13:24,901
-- Could you be any more insensitive ?
Can you not see she's unhappy ?

173
00:13:24,941 --> 00:13:29,541
Sorry.

174
00:13:25,461 --> 00:13:29,541
-- HORNS

175
00:13:26,421 --> 00:13:29,541
I keep thinking "What's the point ?"

176
00:13:29,581 --> 00:13:33,901
I might as well drive this bus
over a bloody cliff.

177
00:13:33,941 --> 00:13:38,741
-- You mustn't bottle your feelings up
or you get violent.

178
00:13:38,781 --> 00:13:42,501
-- Look, for God's sake...

179
00:13:39,541 --> 00:13:42,501
-- It's my shitting bus, all right ?

180
00:13:43,261 --> 00:13:45,261
Sorry.

181
00:13:46,501 --> 00:13:48,821
Oh, are you crying ?

182
00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:51,661
-- No.

183
00:13:49,581 --> 00:13:51,661
-- It looked like you were.

184
00:13:51,701 --> 00:13:56,141
-- Could you let me off ?

185
00:13:52,621 --> 00:13:56,141
-- I am gonna give you such a slap
in a minute.

186
00:13:56,181 --> 00:14:00,901
Some people can be
so bloody unfeeling.

187
00:13:58,901 --> 00:14:00,901
-- HORNS CONTINUE TO BLARE

188
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:03,461
-- This'll cheer you up, right.

189
00:14:03,821 --> 00:14:08,061
I just done the whole morning
with no trolleys on.

190
00:14:08,101 --> 00:14:10,781
-- No !

191
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:10,781
-- Yeah, look.

192
00:14:10,821 --> 00:14:14,541
-- HORNS

193
00:14:12,541 --> 00:14:14,541
-- All right !

194
00:14:14,581 --> 00:14:17,821
Nobody knows.

195
00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:17,821
-- You slag ! (LAUGHS)

196
00:14:19,261 --> 00:14:21,261
Ta-ra.

197
00:14:31,021 --> 00:14:33,021
SQUELCHING

198
00:14:38,861 --> 00:14:40,861
LOUD SQUELCHING

199
00:14:43,061 --> 00:14:45,061
RYTHMIC SQUELCHING

200
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:55,101
BUBBLING

201
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,261
(LAUGHS)

202
00:15:35,941 --> 00:15:38,021
Come on, it's all right.

203
00:15:41,421 --> 00:15:43,421
Come on.

204
00:16:08,021 --> 00:16:12,581
ALARM

205
00:16:09,261 --> 00:16:12,581
SIRENS

206
00:16:10,581 --> 00:16:12,581
BANGING ON DOOR

207
00:16:29,261 --> 00:16:31,261
Oops.

208
00:16:31,301 --> 00:16:33,301
BLOWS PARTY HOOTER

209
00:16:37,141 --> 00:16:40,701
I've got
an obsessive-compulsive disorder.

210
00:16:40,741 --> 00:16:42,981
I'm obsessed with hygiene.

211
00:16:43,021 --> 00:16:46,821
Everything has to be clean
all the time.

212
00:16:54,261 --> 00:16:57,821
Unfortunately,
I'm also bone-bastard-idle.

213
00:17:04,221 --> 00:17:06,421
-- Hello. I'm looking...

214
00:17:07,341 --> 00:17:10,661
I'm looking... I'm looking for a...

215
00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:13,421
..short bloke.

216
00:17:34,381 --> 00:17:36,381
-- Un momento.

217
00:18:13,021 --> 00:18:15,021
PHONE RINGS

218
00:18:24,141 --> 00:18:26,141
DIALLING TONE

219
00:18:51,181 --> 00:18:54,581
I look terrible.
Look at all my lines.

220
00:18:55,261 --> 00:18:58,061
-- You're not paranoid about being old?

221
00:18:58,101 --> 00:19:03,461
-- I look old.

222
00:18:59,421 --> 00:19:03,461
-- You don't, silly.

223
00:19:00,821 --> 00:19:03,461
-- How old do you think I am ?

224
00:19:01,461 --> 00:19:03,461
-- No, don't ask me that.

225
00:19:03,661 --> 00:19:09,421
-- Go on, guess.

226
00:19:04,221 --> 00:19:09,421
-- No, I'm usually out by at least
ten years. People get upset.

227
00:19:09,461 --> 00:19:15,421
-- I won't, I'm just curious.

228
00:19:10,821 --> 00:19:15,421
-- No.

229
00:19:11,821 --> 00:19:15,421
-- Take ten years off
so you don't upset me.

230
00:19:15,461 --> 00:19:18,901
-- That's what I do, but it still...

231
00:19:16,901 --> 00:19:18,901
-- Oh, go on. Please.

232
00:19:21,381 --> 00:19:23,381
-- All right. 30... 32.

233
00:19:24,821 --> 00:19:28,381
-- 32 ? What, you thought I was 42 ?

234
00:19:29,021 --> 00:19:31,981
-- I said 32.

235
00:19:29,661 --> 00:19:31,981
-- But you take ten years off.

236
00:19:32,021 --> 00:19:35,021
-- I said this would happen.

237
00:19:33,021 --> 00:19:35,021
-- Yeah, but 42 ?!

238
00:19:35,301 --> 00:19:39,421
-- Well, how old -- are -- you ?

239
00:19:36,501 --> 00:19:39,421
-- I'm 32.

240
00:19:37,221 --> 00:19:39,421
-- That's what I said.

241
00:19:37,621 --> 00:19:39,421
-- You meant 42.

242
00:19:39,621 --> 00:19:44,261
-- It's impossible to tell.
You can't tell how old I am.

243
00:19:44,301 --> 00:19:47,901
-- I could guess.

244
00:19:45,181 --> 00:19:47,901
-- Go on, then.

245
00:19:45,901 --> 00:19:47,901
-- Well,... 28.

246
00:19:48,701 --> 00:19:51,261
-- Yeah, I am. I am 28. Yeah.

247
00:19:54,181 --> 00:19:56,181
-- I'm 42 !

248
00:19:56,821 --> 00:20:02,581
-- I'm 42 !

249
00:19:58,621 --> 00:20:02,581
-- No, you're not, you're 28.

250
00:20:00,581 --> 00:20:02,581
-- Yeah, I know.

251
00:20:08,021 --> 00:20:12,941
Darling, smile at the camera.
I'm Caroline, I'm a single mother.

252
00:20:12,981 --> 00:20:18,341
Say hello to the camera, darling.
Wave. Say hello to your new daddy.

253
00:20:18,381 --> 00:20:22,101
Erm, this is...
Say hello to your new daddy.

254
00:20:22,141 --> 00:20:28,061
This is Arthur. We're looking for a
new daddy. Any shape, size, colour.

255
00:20:28,101 --> 00:20:32,661
Doesn't have to have a job,
just good at cleaning up poo.

256
00:20:32,701 --> 00:20:35,021
Poo-poo. I say poo-poo.

257
00:20:35,061 --> 00:20:40,781
So, yeah, just... He's a bit tired.
Wave bye-bye to your new daddy.

258
00:20:40,821 --> 00:20:43,861
Bye-bye, new daddy, don't leave us.

259
00:20:43,901 --> 00:20:48,181
-- Mummy ! Mummy!!

260
00:20:45,261 --> 00:20:48,181
-- We'll have a daddy soon, sweetheart.

261
00:20:48,221 --> 00:20:51,901
-- (CRIES)

262
00:20:48,941 --> 00:20:51,901
-- We're quite happy. Settled.

263
00:21:16,181 --> 00:21:20,541
--
What's life all about ?

264
00:21:20,741 --> 00:21:24,981

and go out of your mind

265
00:21:25,181 --> 00:21:29,461

The world's like a bin

266
00:21:29,661 --> 00:21:34,421

that you can't really find

267
00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:38,541

It's time to take a ride

268
00:21:38,901 --> 00:21:43,061

Just bounce from side to side

269
00:21:43,261 --> 00:21:51,341

So stick your arms out wide

270
00:21:51,661 --> 00:21:53,781


271
00:21:53,821 --> 00:21:56,101


272
00:21:56,141 --> 00:22:00,381

you gotta help us go tumbling round

273
00:22:00,661 --> 00:22:02,861


274
00:22:02,901 --> 00:22:04,981


275
00:22:05,141 --> 00:22:09,421

you gotta help us go tumbling round

276
00:22:09,621 --> 00:22:14,061

and around and around

277
00:22:15,101 --> 00:22:18,941


278
00:22:19,141 --> 00:22:22,861

to blow it away

279
00:22:23,341 --> 00:22:25,621


280
00:22:25,821 --> 00:22:27,821


281
00:22:28,101 --> 00:22:32,301

It'll ruin your day

282
00:22:32,501 --> 00:22:36,781

So just don't even try

283
00:22:37,301 --> 00:22:41,461

Avoid the question why

284
00:22:41,701 --> 00:22:49,301

We're born, we dance, we die

285
00:22:50,061 --> 00:22:53,821


286
00:22:54,381 --> 00:22:58,901

you gotta help us go stumbling round

287
00:22:59,021 --> 00:23:00,941


288
00:23:01,141 --> 00:23:03,261


289
00:23:03,301 --> 00:23:08,181

you gotta help us go stumbling round

290
00:23:08,381 --> 00:23:12,661


291
00:23:08,861 --> 00:23:12,661
--
tumbling, stumbling

292
00:23:12,941 --> 00:23:18,821

stumbling round

293
00:23:16,821 --> 00:23:18,821
--

294
00:23:30,021 --> 00:23:32,021
PHONE RINGS

295
00:23:39,301 --> 00:23:41,301
STOPS RINGING

296
00:23:45,941 --> 00:23:48,621
intelfax subtitles
CSABA ABRAHALL